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Learning suspension bondage to soon

01st March, 2016

Learning suspension bondage to soon

01st March, 2016

There you are with a scrumptious bunny awaiting patiently to feel the freshly conditioned jute rope that was specially ordered for this midnight showing. The local dungeon is packed with tops and bottoms all drooling to see what you have to offer. You have spent the past few weekends working on a routine that will sure marvel their eye sockets with your anti-gravity abilities.

You begin by tying a gote shibari and hastily perform a single column which you know was not your best. — Maybe no one will notice. — Who cares, they requested you to be there. They want to see someone fly! You move on to your wraps and perform your kannukis. — You bunny winces, when you cinch down. — It's ok, she can bare a little pain, this is a form of sadomasochism after all. You finish your chest harness as the crowd remains silent waiting for her flight.

You hoist her up on the ring and double lock off your rope. — She isn't going anywhere now. — You robotically move to her legs and begin a futomomo, In your excitement performing in front of your peers. You don't notice the pain on your precious bunnies face. Someone motions for you to look up. You were not prepared for what you see. Tears now running down her face. You hesitate as you know something has disastrously gone wrong.

This is a true story

Above is a situation no one ever wants to be placed in. Now ask yourself who's at fault. Would you blame the rigger for overestimating his skills or maybe the bottom for not communicating well enough or perhaps even the dungeon for not properly assessing the couple? You could argue anyone of these until you're blue in the face. No matter which you choose, they'll still lead to one thing. The inept ability of the rigger to safely perform a rope suspension.

Ever had something shoved in your face so many times that you just start to gag? I'm not referring to your partners appendages, we're talking about performing your first suspension. You think you know all there is about rope bondage? That cockiness is going to get your balls caught in a vice-trap. Let that idea of pain sink in. The answer that I give everyone when asking if they're ready to perform their first suspension is ubiquitously a no. If you're asking, then you already know you're not ready. New riggers are always driving their formula one jute rope 200mph in to their first suspension with out thinking of the implications of what could go wrong. You're literally putting someones life in danger! — Think about that for a moment. — Look in to your partners face and tell them your going to risk their life because you want some stupid accolade. I hope you get slap-chopped to the throat.

Choosing what works for you

When learning rope bondage, everyone has their own yellow brick road to follow. Some learn quickly while others can't even tie their shoe laces. Spending weeks, months, even years does not necessarily say you're ready for suspensions. Did you spend the past two weeks studying all the books you could get your hands on? You're not ready. “But I watched every online tutorial.” Still not ready. “But I've tied my partner up every weekend.” You're not ready either. You can't learn suspensions safely from books, video tutorials, or during bedroom time.

There are different approaches to learning rope bondage and rope education. This can easily be seen in the many variations of box ties performed. All types of education have their drawbacks and hidden traps. This doesn't make other approaches better than others. You must decided for yourself what works for you. Keeping that in mind, this is only my opinion and I am not a professional!

Based on what I've seen, many riggers try and jump in to tying suspension bondage far to soon after start learning shibari. Yes suspension bondage is completely and totally amazeballs. — It's why I certainly started my journey. — As new rigger we want to master the skills needed to perform rope suspension as soon as we can. New riggers end up attempting advance ties before they even have the skills, knowledge, and most importantly, the experience that prepares them for the challenges that WILL present themselves during a suspension. Many riggers will let their Ego drive them in to suspensions before they are ready. It can even limit their growth as a rigger.

Becoming better instead of shitty

I know I'm not the first to voice concern about safety. Many experienced instructors voice it all the time. No matter how many decibels used fracturing your eardrum screaming with broken record warnings, you — Yes you. — will ignore these safety precautions and rush ahead to suspensions at break neck speeds. — Literally. — This shouldn't be accepted as normal. Someones life is in your hands! New prepubescent tops drawn to rope bondage seem to wish they could take some smarties, learn some basic skills, and start performing high flying acrobatic suspensions in a weekend. I would say its fair that one in ten new riggers even seek formal instruction. The sad part is, this number is likely lower and that single individuals entire reasoning is  to learn suspension bondage faster. — Face palm! — There is more to shibari than suspensions people.

I've met riggers that didn't even want to be bothered learning anything about rope. They only wanted to get their partner in to the air. If it did not directly influence their ability to perform a suspension, bah humbug. This is more disgusting than tub-girl making out at a lemon party. Why does everyone think they're the exception to the rule? You can not skip the basics and there is no express lane to suspension, end of story. Learning proper floor work is key before entering the suspension world. Mastering simple suspension work is not a walk in central park. At the time of this writing, I've yet to perform a suspension. Why? Because I don't feel ready, my ego stays in check, and I love my partner. I don't want to risk her safety just to fulfill my desire to give her flight.

Use the ground up approach

Floor-based rope bondage and partial suspensions are considered road blocks rather than what they are, exceptional learning experiences. This is what new riggers should be seeking out. Sadly, they are ignored since for some reason suspension is considered the holy grail. Hey Indiana Jones, Guess what? It's hardly the end-game. If anything, its only a small portion of what kinbaku is. Ego and exhibitionism are the worst reasons to be learning shibari. Rushing in to rope bondage, yet alone suspensions, is only putting your bottom in danger, and the ability for you to enjoy yourself out the balcony window. You shouldn't be tying just to show off and gain an unlock. — This isn't a game! — It is meant to be an intimate connecting between you and your bottom.

Why do you think so many instructors encourage students to practice and take it slow? It's damn sure not for their health, its for your bottoms. If your only goal is to perform suspensions, your destined to becoming a boring geriatric rigger who is more concerned with ego and showing off than what rope bondage is suppose to be. — Creating passion through restraint. — If you're missing this aspect, you've already succumbed to the fallout of the explosion. One could learn how to perform text book suspension over the course of a weekend. Tragically, most newbies would not be able to safely recreate it on their own, and they would be stuck with a cookie cutter routine. Riggers need to understand the basics thoroughly until they can perform with them from muscle memory. Without these basics, you have no foundation to build on. Once you understand the rules, then you can improvise and start creating your own style.

I've sadly seen people who run before they can even walk by never adequately learning the basics of rope bondage. I once watched a rigger that has been performing suspensions for over year still struggle to tie a decent single column tie. — That is where the story from above came from. — His technique was sloppy and he thought he was doing well. Disaster strikes those who move to fast by rushing through the basics, not practicing, or putting in the hard work. You will reach a crushing realization, all those critical movements and methods retained in muscle memory will be a sloppy pink taco. You'll never attain the fluidity that you see in masters like Arisue Go, Osada Steve, and many others. When they perform, they do not have to concentrate on their rope handling. Creating flow is a skill acquired from practice that allows them to make a connection with the person they're tying.

This goes for everything and not just rope bondage. If you can't drill the basics in to muscle memory and continue trying more difficult ties before mastering the fundamentals, you will always be exceeding your skills. This is a deficit in your knowledge retention. Without it, you'll never enjoy the tranquillity that comes from tying effortlessly. The basics are there for you to learn, giving you a surface to build on, allowing you the opportunity to learn more.

Learn to tie in the moment

In order to retain knowledge, it needs to have time to set, creating a solid foundation for you to work on. This will allow you to learn more elaborate ties and rope placement more efficiently. This is your moment to stop tying like a Robocop. Get out of the fast lane and learn to add joy by making an emotional connection, and creating real intimacy with your loved one. Don't fall in to the trap of being concerned about what other people think of your work, you will miss out on the pleasure in your successful ties. Never worry about surpassing another rigger's ability to tie — It's a fruitless accomplishment. — Don't let rope bondage become a competition either. You will lose sight of creating passion through restraint. You will be leaving your bottom in an emotionless state with no chance of reaching subspace. They seek an intimate connection with you and if you're not providing it. You also place them at risk do to your inexperience to resolve a situation gone bad during a suspension.

If you think nothing will go wrong, then you haven't met your greatest enemy, Gravity. It will shit on your dreams faster than silicone lube breaking down a latex condom. I always try to convince new riggers to get their suspension skills from performing partial suspensions. This gives them an opportunity to learn how to handle the dangers that will occur before they start performing full suspensions. The worst thing that can happen during a full suspension is when a new problem spurs its ugly head that you have never encountered. This could spell disaster for your bottoms safety. Problems during rope bondage will occur and you can save yourself a lot of headaches by working through these problems on the floor using partial suspensions. Learning to deal with them efficiently now will greatly mitigate the risk of them occurring during full suspensions. This gives you experience to anticipate and hopefully avoid potential issues.

Leveling up without cheat codes

To gain Experience, you have to invest time. Yet still new riggers refuse to invest any ample amount in learning how to safely perform rope bondage. What you can't learn from watching video tutorials, reading books, and watching other riggers tie: flow, rhythm, pacing, responsiveness, communication, and these don't even include technical ones. You still have to learn line management, balance, bottom assessment, bottom reading, bottom physical limitations, nuances of different ties, tensions for different positions, etc. Still think fast is the way to go? Riggers who rush in blind performing suspensions are only doing a disservice to themselves. There is more to shibari than just being technically proficient. All hose things can't be accumulated in a few short lessons either.

Even for the ones that do decide to skip ahead, hopefully without hurting someone, acquiring the skills to perform modest suspensions, don't have the slightest clue what they're missing or how they hindered their development. Why? Because they already think they're king of fuck-mountain. And if the rigger is fortunate enough to realize what they've missed, their ego will keep them from going back to the beginning to learn the subtle things that could make them great, instead of the average rigger they have become. It makes it even harder to start over knowing you have to break so many bad habits that you unknowingly picked up on your fast tracked journey to suspensions.

It's easy to see who is an inexperienced rigger. Their lack of experience is seen when they focus solely on the ropes: wrap placement, tie-offs, even physics. Concentrating on the mechanical and engineering concerns while their bottoms find themselves ignored. Pay attention to your next local scene, you'll be surprised just how many riggers lack the skills needed to perform a beautiful and safe suspension. This narrow focus has been engrained in to them by their desire to have their bottom in the air. Caused by the repeatedly practice of their basic skills in an unhealthy environment programming themselves to tie like robots. They end up falling in to this same mental state when they are tying.

Admittedly you have riggers that learn faster than others. Some just have more dedication while others just have natural ability. You see this in all arts. Cooking, painting, gymnastics, to name a few. New students that have an aptitude and dedication will find themselves advancing faster than others. You still won't find a conscientious instructor that would have them skip cinnamon in a pumpkin pie, color wheel theory when mixing, or hip placement while tumbling. Students that progress naturally through their respective art end up more accomplished in the end.

Rethink where you want to go

If you find yourself feeling stagnant in your suspensions, floor-work, or partial suspensions, then I suggest you rethink how you got there. You might have inadvertently skipped some valuable lessons while rushing so quickly to your detriment. The motivation to reach your end game is and understandable one. Bottoms want to be tied in new ways, and riggers want to provide that wonderful experience, and still be seen as an accomplished practitioner of rope. Rushing through any kind of kink can backfire terribly, more so with shibari. I only hope this article changes the mind of a future rigger or spark interest within an educator to pressure students to slow down. Human nature is powerful to overcome the need to rush head over heels in to something so exhilarating. To each their own. This will continue to bother me as I want people to be aware of the risks they need to accept when they engage in consensual bondage.